I was watching "To Catch A Predator" a couple of nights ago and noticed a pattern forming with the perverts. They all had a tendency to take a picture of their junk to show to their prospective "dates". I also noticed that the pictures were taken at different angles. This got me thinking. Which angles are best for guys to take pictures of their manhood and are there rules to follow when taking these pictures?
First off, I spent close to 2 hours looking at "junk" pictures on a local library computer for research. My findings may startle some (or amuse and excite librarians which I found out later). Here are basic 3 variations on the dick pic.
The "Fisherman" is when the guy takes the picture of his manhood with the camera lens shooting upward from his testicles. The picture gives the impression that his penis is bigger and he is holding a fishing rod. This form of picture taking is good for men with girth and not good for pencil shaped guys. The level of difficulty taking this picture is high though. You do not want to get the balls in the picture for they will pop out on the screen like two furry bowling balls. Not a good look.
The "Helicopter" is the angle from above. Similar to the view a helicopter gets when flying over a long land mass. This style is good for length but poor for width. Manscaping is important for this shot because you do not want to look like you are entering a forest when you take the helicopter pic. Hardness is a must because and flacidity will cause the member to look more like a decline then the "Straits Of Magellan".
The "Ruler" is a tricky picture. You take the picture from the side to get the most honest angle for size comparison. You MUST be confident of your manhood on this one. Also make sure you center the picture properly and the head of your penis does not look like a cherry tomato. Nothing is scarier to a woman then a long shaft and a head that looks like a clown nose
Guys, I must also impress upon you to stay away from the "Flick Pic". The flick pic is when you take a picture of your penis flaccid. I did some research and asked 10 women their thoughts on this type of picture. All of them agree that a flaccid picture is about as sexy as a dinner at Denny's. Yeah they may offer a Grand Slam, but you end up always wanting more afterwords.
Remember, NEVER send a picture unless asked or implied. NEVER ask her afterwords if she liked it. Doing that will make her look at the picture with more scrutiny. The best penis artists let the work speak for itself. NEVER try pictures with themes. DO NOT put your penis in a taco shell on Cinco De Mayo. DO NOT paint it green on St. Patrick's Day. DO NOT I repeat DO NOT put Dracula teeth on it for Halloween and send it as a Hallmark card with the words "Happy Halloweeinie" beneath it (learned this last year).
I hope these suggestions help you guys out there. With these pointers I suspect your pointer will get the attention you crave! Have a great day folks!
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LINKS OF THE WEEK:
LINKS OF THE WEEK:
www.realsportslounge.com is a sports forum site that I have checked out recently. Good group of people over there with interesting insight on all topics sports and pop culture related. Also they have an interesting way of letting you show appreciation or disgust with a post or thread. This site is a good time killer.
www.thehockeyprogram.net is a site for all things hockey. The guy that runs this site is not only extremely passionate about hockey, but spends a crazy amount of time talking about it online. I have been following him this NHL season and if you have seen our NHL record, you can understand why this site has a lot to offer.
www.danielle-dowling.com is a blog about women and dating culture. You may ask why a sports themed blog would recommend this. Fact is most guys need a little insight into women. This blog which is updated regularly gives us guys a look into the female psyche which is akin to having inside information on a sporting event. Read this weekly, and you will find yourself having a better understanding on what a girl wants and what makes her happy.
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